39.Disagreements

Q1 How can we stop an argument from escalating into a fight?

Ans- To my mind, to keep a minor disagreement from turning into a major blowout we should, first of all, take a breath and pause as this allows us time to collect our thoughts and consider alternative ways of responding. Also, we should do our best to respond rationally rather than emotionally. To do so we need to focus on the core issue that requires working through toward a compromise or concession ignoring the emotional content of the other person's argument (including personal insults or attacks). And, of course, we should learn to disagree with respect as oftentimes a simple acknowledgement that we hear those we argue with and what they are saying but respectfully disagree with them is enough for others to disengage from the argument.

Q2 Why do some people avoid arguing with others?

Ans- I think most people avoid arguing because they just want to keep the peace, and also they might feel uncomfortable with conflict. I mean, for some people, getting into an argument, even a small one, can be really stressful. It's not just about winning or losing. It's more about how tense and emotionally draining it can get. So they'd rather just let it go than deal with all that. And also, if someone really values the relationship, like with a close friend or a partner, they might avoid arguing just to protect that connection. You know, it's like they think, 'Is this really worth fighting over?' Most of the time, it's not.

Q3 Who do you think should teach children to respect their teacher?

Ans- You know, I really think parents should probably take the lead here because, well, they're the first people kids learn from, right? I mean, kids watch how their parents talk about teachers and school all the time. If a parent says something like, 'Oh, your teacher is really great,' or 'You need to listen to them, then the kid usually picks that up and acts accordingly. But if parents complain or say the teacher's wrong, it's like the kid thinks, 'Okay, why should I respect someone my parents don't respect?' So honestly, it starts at home. Plus, parents set the tone for respect in general, so it makes sense they play a big part in this.

Q4 How do we show respect to others when we disagree with them?

Ans- I think we show respect to others when we disagree with them if we stay calm and speak politely, and if we accept different points of view without making it personal. We don't have to agree with everything, but we can control how we react. Speaking in a calm way helps the other person feel heard. Also, when we focus on ideas and not on the person, the conversation feels more respectful. It's not about who's right, it's about understanding each other.

Q5 What do you do if you disagree with someone?

Ans- Oh, in the best-case scenario, I do my best to stay calm and rational in order to keep a conversation on track. I focus on what's being said in order to understand the other person's perspective and then calmly present my case and why I disagree. I use only 'I statements' to communicate how I feel, what I think and what I want or need, which helps me not to sound argumentative and shows that I'm ready to look for ways that I can compromise in order to come to an understanding and solution we can both agree on. But in the worst-case scenario, I simply lose my temper and start yelling trying to get my point across. Thank God, the latter case happens very seldom

Q6 What disagreements do parents and children usually have?

Ans- Oh, I guess that a lot of parents and kids disagree about curfew as when kids don't show up at home when they're supposed to, their parents get worried and become scolding parents when kids do come back. Another reason for a disagreement between parents and children is cell phone use. This type of disagreement usually happens when kids use their cell phone excessively. One more type of conflict that occurs every day between almost all parents and kids is the one connected with noise because oftentimes kids want to have noisy fun while their parents want to have a rest. Plus, they have disagreements about grades, which happens when parents' expectations aren't met, and arguments about dishonesty as parents are likely to feel angry when their kids are lying to their faces. In the case of teenagers, there can be a conflict with parents about their personal appearance as tattoos, piercings, crazy hairdos and heavy make-up are easy ways to pick a fight with parents who value traditional looks.